Friday, May 18, 2012



People ask me what it is I want from this journal. Besides being a way to help me process everything I am going thru, it is a voice. My voice. And in some way, I think a voice for a lot of victims that can’t speak. I feel what I am asking for is simple. Not only for me, but for any rape victim.

 A new detective who will actually do an investigation. I feel I should have as much as a right to a fair investigation as Naylor has to a fair trial. I am not asking to skip due process of the law. I am simply asking the law to follow due process for me and any other rape victim as well.

 A case number.
My rape kit to be screened and processed.
A better toxicology test.
And most importantly, a background check on Naylor.

Honestly, I also think the detectives who are sandbagging my case need to be removed from their post. I don’t think they should even be allowed to write up a parking ticket. If the detectives don’t like it, to bad. You should have done your job. I think every case, errr.. incident they shut down without investigating needs to be reopened with the consent of the victim and investigated.

A while back ago some world human rights group came thru LA and found a bunch of untested rape kits. That’s when the law was created that all rape kits have to be tested before the statute of limitations is up. How about all rape kits in the US have to be tested within six months of the sexual assault? And here is something else I think we should have. Harsher penalties for rapists. If found guilty of rape, it should be a mandatory 13 year sentence. Why thirteen years? I have that number based on the next chapter. I think rapists should serve no less than thirteen years of their life for what they have taken away from a victim. Did you cringe? Was the first thing that came to your mind, what about a man who is sentenced unfairly? Remember how most convictions come about because the majority of rapists are serial rapists, and it’s usually a chain of cases that get the conviction? Well, now what? If a man is guilty of raping three women, is thirteen years each too harsh now? Or should we let him get off as a first time offender with a year served, and being listed on a sex offender registry? That’s not good enough for me, or the victims of any rapist, to know he walks away facing so little. How’s about as a country, we start getting a little harsher with rapists. Thirteen years in a penitentiary long enough to make you think twice about pulling a victims under ware off of them? Good, it should be. The lawyers of rapists wheel and deal at the expense of the victim. Hows about no more. No more deals behind closed doors. No less than thirteen years in all states for a mandatory felony charge of violent or non violent rape. Don’t like it? Too bad, you shouldn’t have committed a rape. Real men don’t commit rape. They don’t have to.    

Naylor used a drug on me that is very hard to detect. You mean to tell me the bad guys are winning, and the good guys have no intent on designing a drug screening test to find even a hint of something left behind from these drugs? Everything leaves a trace of having been there. Ask any bow hunter. This law applies everywhere in nature and right now we have no testing abilities to find anything left behind from these drugs? But I can go online right now and purchase these drugs myself? I wouldn’t actually put a credit card out there just to see if it works, but I have no doubt its not very hard to obtain. Hell, I know a guy in a bar not to far from here that has plenty. Want some? How’s about I buy some and you lab guys can start cooking it and see what you get. There has to be a tracer somewhere. If we metabolize it so quickly, then that means our bodies turn it into something else, right? I know I’m not a chemist, but neither was the detective at the Hollywood station. I am not mistaken. The drugs and THC are in there, now it’s on you to find them.
On a funnier note, how often does it happen that someone is begging the police to find drugs in their system?
Yes, I am well aware my life is probably being investigated. Every sordid hook up or one night stand or relationship being dissected. I don’t care. I just hope you are doing the same to Naylor. I have nothing to be ashamed of in my life, and I don’t feel I owe anyone an explanation on why I live my life the way I do. Yes, Naylor was originally a one night stand. That wasn’t a pass for a free ride for life. My name isn’t Disney. No, I am not married. I don’t personally feel marriage should be a box checked off on the list of to dos in life. I don’t know that marriage is something I even want, or will ever do, and I don’t see a problem with that. At least I am honest about it, instead of forcing myself into a marriage I don’t want in order to make other people happy. I have to hold myself responsible for my own life, but at least in it, I don’t hurt or lie to other people for it. I am well aware I am not a typical woman. I work a job normally held by men. I make enough from it to support myself, and sometimes squirrel a little bit away. I drink. I can drink with the guys, and sometimes even out drink them. I know people out there will say it’s a sign or alcoholism. I think it’s good to have a tolerance. I have even drank with cops, so why do you get to point a finger at me now? I’m good enough to hang out with and have a beer with off duty, but I’m the victim of a crime and its time to pull out the finger paints and tell me I’m a drunk whore? After two beers and a shot? I think it’s more impressive that everyone who knows me has said “two beers and a shot isn’t going to put you in a blackout”. Cause its true. So why is it a man can work this kind of job and go out and have beers after work and it’s ok, but not me? I’m calling BS.

I’m a fighter. That’s the way I was raised. No detective, or rapist, or any other bully is going to change that in me. And I am not asking any one else to come forward with their stories if they don’t want to. I will not ask anyone to testify or report that doesn’t want to. This is my fight. And if I have to do it alone, I will. Of course, I don’t want to. I want rape to stop and I’m pretty sure I’m not the only person out there who feels this way too. 


  1. A note on the weed...when I worked in Employee Safety & Health I was told to inform employees that it would stay in their system for a MONTH. I think what the coroner told you about "only testing for what he was told to test for" was code for him telling you that he was not told to test for weed. Now there *may* be a good reason for in, the police may have been forced to arrest you if you tested positive. But they should have told you that upfront, and let you make the decision about whether you wanted them to run the test or not.

  2. I'm very sure the coroner wasn't asked to test for THC. Unfortunately, their lying about testing for it wouldn't have been for altruistic reasons of protecting me. At the most, it would have been a ticket. I feel at this point they dug themselves into a hole and the underlying reasons of not looking for THC is because they would have to admit to screwing up an investigation and leaving themselves open for a lawsuit. Feel free to contact me on Facebook to have further discussions about the blog.


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